REVIEW: I Could Never by Penelope Ward

In I Could Never by Penelope Ward, Carly Garber is still struggling day to day with the loss of her fiancé Brad–who passed away two years ago–when tragedy strikes again. His father has unfortunately just died of a heart attack leaving Scottie, Brad’s adult brother with autism, without a caregiver. Carly rushes from California to New Hampshire to step into the role for the time being. What she didn’t realize was that Brad’s womanizing, sometimes rude best friend, Josh Mathers, got the same call and had the same thought of staying with Scottie. A small cabin in rural New England isn’t a great place for Carly and Josh to be forced to live together, even if it’s temporary. But as they find a way to split up the chores and Scottie’s everyday routines, they come to a truce. And a whole lot more than friendship begins to grow between them, much to Carly’s surprise.

‘As much as I’ve tried to convince myself otherwise, my heart was also starting to belong to Josh. Or at least whatever part of my heart hadn’t been buried with Brad.’

Josh expected to be on his own back in Woodsboro, taking care of Scottie who he considers a brother to him. He knows it’s what Brad would want. Carly was an unexpected addition to the house when Josh arrived in his hometown from Chicago. And although he can use the assistance as Scottie can be a handful some days, he’s not sure it’s a good idea for Carly to stick around. Because as much as it pains Josh to admit it to himself, their newfound rapport is leading to some rather carnal thoughts–something that cannot happen. He would never do anything to tarnish what Brad and Carly had together. But as the days wear on and things keep heating up between them, it’s only a matter of time before they’ll have to discuss what’s going on as it’s something that could alter the dynamics of their friendship forever.

‘I’d thought I was dead inside, but Carly Garber had brought me back to life, and for that I’d always be grateful.’

Readers can always count on Penelope Ward for a steamy romance with a provocative edge. We had that and so much more in I Could Never, a story about misconceptions, finding love with the unlikeliest of people, grief, and found family.

‘This man was the last person I’d ever dreamed would love me like this. How lucky was I to be loved by two great men in my lifetime?’

CW: View Spoiler » Grief, cheating (historical), detailed life of caring for an adult with autism–including (sometimes physical) outbursts. « Hide Spoiler

I Could Never was an easy to read, easy to fall in love with the characters, and tough to say goodbye to them kind of book. Something I definitely expect from Penelope Ward’s writing. After reading the synopsis, I thankfully anticipated the level of emotions both main characters would be working to overcome after the loss of Brad, Carly’s fiancé and Josh’s best friend, two years ago. My heart shattered for them. And it did get heavy at times for the duo, as well as for Brad’s younger brother Scottie (who had autism) as he had also just lost his father, who was his main caregiver.

The fact that Josh *and* Carly volunteered to care for Scottie already endeared them to me. But that they were willing to become a team to do so, even with some bad blood and a lot of misunderstandings between them, put me on board with just about any direction they went from there. Carly and Josh grappled with the understandable guilt over their attraction from the first moment sparks flew between them. It was a tough, angsty time for them dealing with their obvious attraction while also learning to help Scottie with every facet of his daily life.

It’s definitely worth noting that Ward wrote Scottie’s scenes with loving care and the utmost of respect–showing him during his good and bad days with all of the emotions that came with it. Aside from the lovely fun moments between Carly, Josh and Scottie, there were two scenes in particular that made me an emotional mess as I’m sure other readers will be, too. But by the finale it all boiled down to a trio of people who found something special together, a family of their own making, honoring those they had lost, and making them each stronger for it.

QOTD: This was an enemies to lovers, forced proximity, forbidden, small town romance. Are you a fan of any of these tropes?

Book Info:

Publication: Published: August 19th, 2023 | by Penelope Ward Books, Inc. |

From New York Times bestselling author Penelope Ward comes a new forbidden, enemies-to-lovers story…
It all started with an unexpected phone call.
Two years after my fiancé passed away in an accident, his father died suddenly, leaving Brad’s adult, special-needs brother with no one to care for him.
The next thing I knew, I was on a cross-country drive to New Hampshire where I’d be moving in to look after Scottie until I could get him into a group home.
The last thing I ever expected?
I wouldn’t be taking care of him alone.
Josh Mathers, my fiancé’s best friend—who also happened to be my sworn enemy—insisted he was the better person for the job. He told me to go back to California, and I told him where he could stick that demand.
Our disdain for each other wasn’t anything new. It dated back to a text I’d accidentally read years ago.
We hated each other. But we both loved Scottie, so neither of us budged.
Now we were living together in a tiny house—with one available bedroom. Thank goodness it was only temporary.
Over time, I realized the broody jerk I thought I knew was different than I’d imagined.
I found myself slowly growing attached to someone I once considered the enemy…and growing attracted to him.
Sure, both of us were guilt-ridden over Brad. We were also two grown people with pent-up frustration toward one another—stuck in a cabin in the woods.
But this was Josh.
I could never.