REVIEW: Before I Go by Colleen Oakley

In Before I Go by Colleen Oakley, There’s nothing like finding out you have breast cancer, again, to ruin a celebration. Daisy Richmond and her husband Jack were all set to go away for a weekend on the fourth anniversary of her being cancer-free when she gets the phone call. The cancer is back and this time they aren’t as lucky as before. It’s non-operable so it gives Daisy limited time left with the love of her life. Suddenly she wishes she could get back all the moments they could have spent together and the plans they had put off until ‘someday’ in the future.

‘Who gets cancer twice before they turn thirty? Isn’t that like getting struck by lightning twice? Or buying two Mega Millions winning tickets in one lifetime? It’s like winning the cancer lottery.’

Daisy’s focus becomes finding someone to take care of Jack. He may be ready to receive a double doctorate in veterinary medicine, but the man can’t cook, clean, or remember the simplest of tasks. So she concocts a plan to get Jack a wife. Someone who will be there after she’s gone. But the closer Daisy gets to narrowing down the perfect woman for her husband, the more she realizes she’s not ready to let him go quite yet. She must figure out if there is a way they can support each other emotionally without making the situation more difficult than it already is.

‘It’s not about what’s going to happen to me. With sudden clarity, I realize my fear, deep down, is what will happen to Jack.’

What an emotional journey we take in this piece of women’s fiction. Before I Go was an honest look into Daisy’s life as she dealt with a devastating diagnosis and tried to find a way to take care of her beloved husband Jack after she was gone.

‘Then I wonder, if I knew it would turn out the same, would I want to do it all over again? This life. This body. This Lots of Cancer. I think of Jack. And I realize I knew the answer before I had fully thought the questions: Yes. I would.’

I’ll admit as I’m writing this review that I’m still a bit of an emotional wreck having just finished reading Daisy and Jack’s story. For anyone who has ever lost someone close to them from this horrible disease or who has been affected by it in any way…this book will be an emotional roller-coaster for you. But I am so glad I read it. Because even though as a reader I knew what the outcome would be for Daisy, there were some extremely touching, beautifully lighthearted moments mixed in with the poignant heartbreaking scenes. And that bit of happiness together with the sad was what broke up the brevity of the situation, keeping the tone of the book from being too morose. Even though it was definitely a tear-jerker.

In coming to terms with her own mortality, I think Daisy ultimately figured out that spending as much quality time as possible with loved ones should have been her focus instead of finding a new wife for Jack. I got the feeling that her quest was more about keeping herself occupied so as not to think of what was really happening to her. Yes, Daisy wanted Jack to be well taken care of after she was gone, but it was a way to avoid focusing on having Lots of Cancer in the meantime. Totally understandable. Personally, I did spend the last third or so of the book a little frustrated with Daisy for pushing Jack away when they could have been sharing her final moments together. Although things did get squared away, as much as they could given their situation, thank goodness.

I think what really hit me the hardest emotionally was reading the final chapter, which was from Jack’s POV. Obviously the whole story was moving, but finally getting Jack’s perspective was a wonderful touch at the end. Daisy meant the world to him and it was sad to see him grieving her loss. However the bits of stories we got of their time together from him, as well as the depth of his feelings for her, were so heartwarming. Jack may have been scatterbrained when it came to picking up his dirty socks or remembering where he left his cellphone, but he knew how much he loved Daisy. He was utterly devoted to her. And that was enough to make him a hero in my heart.

Despite the fact that Before I Go made me want to sob uncontrollably, I would still absolutely recommend reading it. (Okay, so I might have cried a little bit. Or a LOT.) Author Colleen Oakley gave us a powerful story that showed how even the strongest of relationships can be tested when faced with an overwhelming situation. But we also found out how strength, determination, and most of all LOVE can soothe and mend our heart.

Book Info:

Published January 6th 2015 by Gallery Books

Daisy never asks you to feel sorry for her.

Daisy is 27-years-old and has only months to live. And, each day, she’s finding her way through what needs to be done.

Her major worry is what her wonderful, charming husband, Jack, will do without her. She knows that he won’t take care of himself so Daisy has to do it for him. As she searches for Jack’s next wife, she begins to realise that her plan to ensure Jack’s happiness is much more complicated than she expected.

Life-affirming, authentic, funny and heartbreakingly beautiful, Before I Go is all about love.